I cannot recall all of the beautiful moments I shared with my grandma Abbott. She was an amazingly strong woman. She created laughter. She knew every bird by its song. She was loving, caring, smart, and creative. She gave to those in need, she prayed for them too. She taught me to fish, play poker and Rummy. She loved to sing, crochet, and bake. She was blind most of her adult life, and most never had a clue.
She is gone from the earth now and she celebrated a full life. I will bake with her cookbooks, play her music boxes, read her stories, and teach her games. I will hold her near and dear to my heart...
The passed couple of months have been full of blurs in my mind. During the time she was in the hospital and up to her final days, none of those seem real now. I look at her in photos and I see her smile, and it just doesn't seem possible that she is gone.
Last week I got married. I married a man that she was very proud to have join our family. Jeff is active duty military, and that was a huge part of my grandmother's life. She supported the troops, and that was of immense importance to her. He loves, supports, and guides my children as though they are his own. During our ceremony I never felt sad that she wasn't there, because I felt her presence.
When Jeff and I met we were friends and training partners. We would run, talk, eat...and run.
When you share running with someone, especially the vast amount of time we spend doing so, you learn everything about them. It is possible that a training partner may know an individual as well or better than even their spouse. Jeff knows all of my weaknesses, my strengths, my pet-peeves, and my trail habits. (we ALL know what I mean here.) And even knowing all of my flaws, he doesn't judge. He has always believed in me, most importantly when I didn't believe in myself. He is mellow and I am...well, not. He balances me and brings me back to center when balance is questionable.
Up to the time I had met Jeff I was learning self love and repairing my body image. I was broken and picking up pieces, slowly but surely. Jeff doesn't realize this, but I prayed really hard for him to come into my life. I didn't pray for someone or a specific man to come into my life. Rather, happiness, patience and acceptance. That's Jeff in a nutshell. And all of those things ultimately brought happiness. A happiness I now get to share with him everyday.
Love is never ending, and endures all things. I lost a person whom taught me so much about love, and respect...but gained a whole new love. A love that has opened a door to new journeys, new smiles, and the kind of love that makes you wonder, " How did I get so lucky?"
Don't lose sight of your worth. Grasp it, and really believe you deserve love...it opens every door!